laundry rant.

let me be honest. if there's one household chore i find a real pain, its laundry. without a doubt. i just don't have a fondness for doing the laundry. i really don't have it in me. its just that i find it terribly mechanical and pedantic; and sometimes even a burden. its a bit like studying lecture notes. Without the intellectual satisfaction.






And having said that, to all those near and far; i just want you to know that i miss you very much and that i love you everyday .

a personal entry. a personal opinion.

"Girls without hijab are hot, and girls with hijab are beautiful, that's why hell is hot and paradise is beautiful."

so i saw this statement hanging around lately. and now i'm gonna take this opportunity to voice out what's been on  my mind for quite a while now.  

to be honest I think this kind of talk is really dangerous. and i don't like what it implies.

let me begin by saying I've recently started (earlier this year) to wear the hijab and that when i decided to do it, i knew that in my heart i was finally ready to commit to this. this wasn't going to be one of those decisions where i would second guess myself later on.

and by the way, this wasn't something anyone forced me to do. not my parents, not my family, not my friends; no one forced me into making this decision. although, i would say that this has surprised many people. but all that matters is that the people who really appreciate me, who know me inside out; would still love me despite a change on the outside. and its funny, how sometimes a change of heart sometimes reflects on the outside as well :) i am still the same nadia nicole and nothing has changed, i still love the same bizarro shizz. 

but i would be lying if i said that it wasn't an internal struggle for me at first.there were countless times where i would have conflict..with myself. to a lot of people, i know i seem like someone who doesn't talk or open up very much at first. 

but often, the quietest people have the loudest minds.

a part of me clearly knew that i wanted, needed something to hold on to and to improve myself; and a part of me was also afraid that i would be judged by my appearance as well.  see the thing is, i'm really self-conscious about my body and even more with my face. So it wasn't unusual to me that every time i first started using the hijab i used to think about stuff like:

"does this make my face look fat?'

"guess i can't wear that now"

But now things have changed. These bouts of insecurity have gone from a booming voice into a quiet whisper, and i refuse to let my mind bully my body anymore. Priorities have changed, and i've realized that the hijab is more than just a piece of cloth. Its something that changes you from within and its a whole personality that goes with you wherever you are. my life hasn't been perfect, and i've committed many sins in the past. but i'm trying to fix that part of myself. i'm trying to be a better person in Allah's eyes, and frankly i couldn't care less if some people are jobless enough to judge me in a negative sense for trying to change. in Islam, its been said that if a daughter goes out from the house without covering up properly, then her father is responsible for that in the afterlife. dad has been through a lot lately so he's also part of the reason why i'm doing this. i love my father very much and i will do my best to be a good daughter :) i miss him so much. 

here i am, and this is me. trusting my heart, unsealing it to change and giving a new meaning to my life. 

and life, despite the madness of assignments and presentations galore; has been great :). sometimes you really gotta just plant your own garden, instead of waiting on someone to bring you flowers.

and i'm not going to doubt my life.

but to get back to the topic,

As Muslims, we should promote good morals, conduct, faith, practices, and values. 

Wearing a hijab doesn’t automatically realize these ideals for a woman, and not wearing 

one doesn’t automatically insinuate that a woman has loose morals or ill faith.

These are incredibly illogical arguments. Hijabi or not, all women deserve respect. By separating the virtues of hijabis and non-hijabis, not only are we separating groups of women, who can achieve more by being united, but we are creating friction within the Ummah. Because now one group is deemed more “worthy” than an another.

This is wrong. You may not have had the intention of hurting anyone’s feelings by posting this quote, but that’s exactly what it’s doing. Statements like these make non-hijabis feel like they are not good enough. Like they aren’t seen as equals in their own Ummah. Statements like these also raise hijabis on the proverbial pedestal and it negates any possibility for them to make mistakes as human beings. Both parties of women suffer.

So really, there's no need for some fancy statement to emphasize on the importance of the hijab, no need for controversial comparisons, and really;  no need to argue or create a divide between muslim women. this fancy talk really isn't necessary. just take a look, its simply written in the Qur'an (33:59 and 24:31). And hey, there's even a whole chapter dedicated for women in the Qur'an (An-Nisa). So now its just up to the girl whether to wear the hijab or not.

But just remember that in most cases, the hijab is an external appearance reflection to a change that happens on the inside. i guess that's why some people are very quick to judge; its one of those things that are out on the open. But also remember that wearing a hijab doesn't make you perfect. it doesn't mean you are superior nor inferior to anyone else. you are who you want to be; and where we are now is a result of our actions and decisions, and of course by the grace of God.  do what feels right for you, because no one should have a right to force you into doing things you don't want to do; or tell you where you belong and how you should lead your life. that decision is entirely up to you, and its in your hands.

Hijab is about modesty, true. But this isn't about pleasing other people, it shouldn't have to be. And this is isn't even about hiding your beauty, because you can still be modest without the hijab (a lot of non hijabis are modest!), and also look beautiful with the hijab. I think hijab used to bring the meaning "barrier"; and that's what it does. A barrier between you and the world, so you are always reminded about the hereafter; a place more beautiful and more profound than here and now. End of the day, only Allah SWT can judge you for your actions, and not His creations. 

i'm blessed, for things that haven't happened, for things that have happened, and for things which are bound to happen :)

xoxo,

nadia nicole.

it feels good to finally let it all out. at last.

its been a while.

hello, world. its me again, :)

finally tonight i'm free from tests or assignments and i can quietly soak up the night all by myself. i've bought a yummy book called the discovery of witches. gonna gobble it down tonight. found out that when i spend money these days, most of the time its usually either on food or books.

money well spent i say!

I'm sorry i haven't been blogging more often. Uni sucks the life out of me sometimes ><.

but overall , its been a beautiful day. just me, my curious feet and hungry eyes. And oh, John Mayer on replay. Bliss.

but tonight, tonight is different.

tonight i will live ala dolce far niente. the sweetness of doing nothing. except enjoying life :)

on a random note, i admit that lately i've been feeling rather homesick. in fact, more than usual dose. its the little things about home i miss most, like my family gathering together and sharing a meal. spending time annoying my cousins (when in fact, i'm the one getting annoyed most of the time. haha, such irony). the tiny packets of nasi lemak and fruit juice for breakfast. waking up late. my old bed. my giant teddy. rainy evenings watching good comedies.

And, I should also mention that one thing I love about Kelana Jaya are the shops. You know. Little old, run-down , dusty grocery shops. And if you're lucky, they even come with shopkeepers who don't have a complete set of teeth and wear coca-cola bottles for glasses. 

And in these shops, there are at least ten different things spilling out of five different shelves, which smells like dusty biscuits and old detergent. With dusty cement floors.

Which is what I love about it.

It's just another thing about home that you can't really find anywhere else. The authenticity, the nostalgia, the cheap 5 cents sweets and even cheaper celebrity magazines.

shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it like a Polaroid picture ♪♫

signing off for now!

xoxo,

♥ nadia nicole.

; freaky,unchained musings tonight.

hello . its been a while . i guess i'm slowly making my way back to blogging again :)




starting off is usually the most awkward part of the post. but i can safely say that (for a start), there is something invigorating about sitting in a dark room, lit by nothing else except my small but ever-reliable study lamp which i shall sorely miss once i move out to the new place. its chartreuse yellow glow stirs up some form of coziness and inspiration for me to come up with this post in ways that remain a question to me . but yes, that alone will suffice.


lately , i realized i have a rather twisted concept of happiness. i believe that i have to restrict and contain myself from enjoying myself too much, to succumb to bliss, to be consumed by joy. Because if i do, then time unfailingly reminds that sooner or later , i will be hit by a similar magnitude of sorrow. I guess you could consider it to be some form of Newton's Third Law of Motion? Its as if an unseen force wants to balance out my life by counteracting joy with sadness; and this has occurred so many times in my life that its been successfully ingrained and carved neatly into my belief system. Sometimes , i become too cautious to allow myself to express any feelings so people assume , more often than not, that i'm void of emotion. 




and secretly, i do hope that this theory of mine works the other way round as well. sit in a corner in agony and despair long enough and you might even land yourself a pile of euphoria awaiting....but then again, once you get to a point where life goes right; you skip past the part where it almost seemed to daunting to carry on. 

***

And if you think about it really hard, you'll almost surely find it astounding how people make the effort of avoiding mistakes all their lives. Yes. People like you and me, strive for perfection. Because perfection is worth dying for.

..maybe not, but still people seek to attain it. Does it give so much meaning to this minuscule existence? Whatever the answer is, it still doesn't change the fact that people are just prone to make them. For starters, trying to be what we're not is one-flawed. Act according to knowledge and let the results end the story.

what defines a person is the choices he or she makes, so three cheers to things that were, to things that are, and to things that will come to pass.




till next time, adieu.


love, 
nadia nicole.

i live for glitter not you ;)

Hello Blogspot!

Well it seems as though I've abandoned you long enough. Once , i thought of starting off with a brand new blog but then i decided not to. Too many memories to leave behind, with too little time. Starting off on a blank slate didn't feel like what i wanted. So here i am, starting fresh and baring my soul, back in an old journal.

And yes, sorry i cheated on you for Tumblr >.< but nothing comes close to your own words. With this Blogspot, i know my whirlwind of thoughts and words are solely mine and mine alone. I'm stripped bare right down to the core. So it feels authentic

Until i think of something smarter to say..adieu.

Love,
Nadia Nicole.

change.

I think I've definitely changed.

But it's for the better :)

release.

I don't want a perfect person, I just want someone to act silly with, someone who treats me well &; 

loves being with me more than anything.

Oh well. Wherever you are.


Okay time to restart lectopia since i'm awake now.